Happy Noirvember - Now let's get stuck on a desert island

My five desert island noir films

Imagine you're stuck on a deserted island, and all you've got for company are a handful of favorite films. The 'desert island media' idea is all about choosing your must-have entertainment in such a situation. To kick off Noirvember, I'm picking my five noir films that would be must-haves if I were stranded on a desert island.

NAKED ALIBI

‘Naked Alibi’(1954) - Starring Sterling Hayden and Gloria Graham, 'Naked Alibi' is a solid B-tier crime thriller in which Hayden plays a wrongly accused police officer who finds himself on the run, desperately trying to clear his name and find a cop killer before he kills again.

Gloria Grahame and boyfriend of the channel Sterling Hayden in Naked Alibi

Of all of Hayden’s Noir films, I think 'Naked Alibi' may be my favorite. It teams him with Gloria Grahame, so it checks off my Gloria Grahame box, and her character Mariana is very sympathetic and tragic (also see Grahame in 'Human Desire'). The film is slightly perverse, thanks to the character of Al, played by Gene Barry, but its perversity is delightfully bizarre in a censor-friendly way.

Hayden is impressive here; he’s got real chemistry with Grahame, and whenever he plays a character with an obvious vulnerable side, I’m on board all the way. While I love Hayden as Dix Handley in ‘'The Asphalt Jungle,' 'Naked Alibi' is firing on all cylinders with its cheap thrills and excitement; it’s one I can definitely watch on repeat.

CAUGHT

'Caught' (1949) - starring Robert Ryan, Barbara Bel Geddes, and James Mason. 'Caught' features Ryan as a wealthy businessman with a very dark and possessive side, and Barbara Bel Geddes as a young woman trapped in a tumultuous relationship with him. The film delves into themes of love, obsession, manipulation, and domestic terror.

Robert Ryan and Barbara Bel Geddes in Caught

This one may seem like an odd pick, but it encompasses many of my favorite elements, such as dark dysfunctional romance. It ventures into melodrama territory (which I love), and it features Robert Ryan playing the completely unlikable and irredeemable character, Smith Ohlrig (not-so-subtly based on Howard Hughes). Now, the weak link here is Bel Geddes; had this role been portrayed by someone like Joan Fontaine, it would've earned four stars. Bel Geddes plays Leonora Eames with so much saccharine that you'd want to pull a tooth. The saving grace and what makes this infinitely rewatchable is Ryan’s Ohlrig. He is vicious to Leonora when she becomes his wife of convenience, and Ryan is fantastic at being vicious.

The Postman Always Rings Twice

'The Postman Always Rings Twice' (1946) - John Garfield and Lana Turner star in this iconic noir. It tells the story of a drifter who gets involved in a passionate and dangerous affair with the wife of a small-town roadside diner owner. Their destructive relationship leads to a web of deceit and crime and puts them on a collision course to a fateful and tragic end.

John Garfield and Lana Turner in a publicity still for The Postman Always Rings Twice

So, of course, I have to have a John Garfield noir. I think 'The Postman Always Rings Twice's snappy dialogue, incendiary chemistry between stars John Garfield and Lana Turner, as well as the dramatic twists and turns of its plot, make this one a desert island essential. Noir wasn’t MGM’s specialty, but when they made them, they gave us top-tier entertainment (see ‘The Asphalt Jungle’ 'Act of Violence' ‘Gaslight’).

This was Turner’s best role; she was born to play Cora. She gets to be the sex goddess level Turner, but she also gets to show off some range and real character development. For Garfield, his role of Frank Chambers subverts the tough guy image he’d cultivated for most of his career. Frank is not a typical Garfield character; he’s uncertain, he’s manipulated, at times he’s weak. As much as I love Garfield in 'The Breaking Point,' it would be too heavy to endure repeated viewings, so I’m going with 'The Postman Always Rings Twice.'

The Strange Love of Martha Ivers

'The Strange Love of Martha Ivers' (1946) - This film follows the lives of three childhood friends whose destinies become entangled in a dark secret. Martha Ivers, played by Barbara Stanwyck, has committed a heinous act as a child, and the consequences continue to haunt her and her friends, played by Kirk Douglas and Van Heflin, as they grow into adulthood.

Van Heflin and Kirk Douglas in The Strange Love of Martha Ivers

'Martha Ivers' is a low-key classic that gives us a lovely, ambitious, and psychopathic Barbara Stanwyck as the titular Martha Ivers. One of the highlights of this film is the early scenes with the characters as children. I really enjoy just how aggressive and slightly off the rails young Martha is. For me, this is truly a comfort crime film, one that I return to over and over again. I know the dialogue by heart, and I can put this one on, and it lulls me to sleep.

Sunset Boulevard

'Sunset Boulevard' (1950) - Directed by Billy Wilder, this cinematic masterpiece is a dark and satirical portrayal of Hollywood's underbelly. It revolves around a struggling screenwriter played by William Holden, who becomes involved with a faded silent film star, Norma Desmond, portrayed by Gloria Swanson. The film explores themes of delusion, ambition, and the price of fame.

William Holden and Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard

I always find some new little detail in every performance, and the sheer audacity and black comedy in the script is Wilder and Brackett at genius-tier level. Gloria Swanson’s performance with its swings from self-pitying to brash, to tragic, to finally unhinged can never wear out its welcome with me. And if you look up sardonic in the dictionary, you’ll find a picture of William Holden’s Joe Gillis. From the dead chimp that opens the film to the dead chump that closes it, this is one I can watch a million times.

Do you have five desert island essential noir films? Leave them in the comments.

Honorable Mentions

Born to be Bad (1950): Joan Fontaine and Robert Ryan together at last.

Sorry Wrong Number (1948): Bedridden Barbara Stanwcyk in fear of her life.

Repeat Performance (1947): Joan Leslie gets stuck in a dark and murderous It’s A Wonderful Life redux of her life.

Find all my desert island picks here

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and finally. . .

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